The First Surgery...Almost

It's Tuesday night and I just got to Milwaukee. My kids are with their dad. We (my parents and I along with my Aunt and her boyfriend) decided to go to a tapas restaurant for dinner, which was amazing! I definitely had to live it up since I couldn't have anymore food or water after midnight.

We got to my aunt's house around 10 and it was time for me to do my shower routine. There was a soap they had given to me that I needed to use the night before and morning of surgery.  So, first I needed to wash my hair with only shampoo (no conditioner), then use this soap which is basically a sponge  on one side, with bristles on the other for your nails.  Luckily, it didn't smell bad! I also had to put clean pajamas on and sleep in clean sheets.

My allergies were bothering me and I was pretty congested so I think that helped me fall asleep. I didn't sleep great, but I wasn't laying there all night. In the morning, I got up to shower again. The same routine except I didn't have to wash my hair again. Then, put clean clothes on again to wear to the hospital (and come home in).

                                                                 Dropping the kids off

I think now is when a lot of people start freaking out. If I wasn't so sick of being tired and having headaches, I think I probably would have been, too. But let's get the ball rolling! Off to the hospital we went.

(Let me remind you, I love my mascara.  This is one of the first times I left the house with zero on! I felt "naked" in a weird way. No makeup, jewelry, or nail polish. No acrylic nails either! It's been 5 years with no break of having those! I wouldn't say I'm a "high maintenance" girl, but I have fun with the girly things and it goes hand in hand with my job.  So, "naked"  Val, in her clean zip up hoodie and yoga pants is off to the hospital.)

We needed to get to the 3RD floor to "Same-Day Surgery." Luckily we were at the hospital so early that a parking spot was easy to find. Sometimes we would be driving up and down the parking ramp forever to find one! Same day surgery also had some reserved spots for us. My mom always wanted to park in these spots and unless I was having surgery that day I'd keep driving until a normal spot was open! Haha. So the days that we could actually use those spots were great!

Once we got inside, I got whisked off right away. I started saying goodbye to my parents and the nurse said "This is just to get you in your gown. You will see them again."

Ok great! I wasn't prepared to say goodbye yet!

Off I went with the nurse. Blood pressure, temperature, weight, and a urine test to make sure I'm not pregnant.

Then she brought me to my prep area.  It had 3 walls with a TV, bed, and monitors.  The fourth wall was a curtain.  She told me to wipe down with these antibacterial wipes and then put the gown on and hop in bed.  The wipes were warm which felt great but left my skin sticky and cool for a few minutes.  After that was finished,  I climbed in.  The nurse came back and asked me questions as she typed on the computer.

Do you wear contacts? No.
Do you wear dentures?  No.
Do you have a pace maker?  No.  (Guess it's standard!)

My parents showed up and took a seat in the two chairs next to my bed.  (The TV was on and we are watching the news about a tornado that might hit down. Not right in Milwaukee, but just outside of it.  My mom was worried the doctors and nurses may not make it for my operation!)

The nurse was putting an IV in.  She tried the back of my wrist, which I prefer because I can still bend my arms.  My veins are super visible and had been told they were "good" before.

Well. Guess again.

They look great, but the IV gets stuck half way in! She even had to get a little metal thing to push in my vein, which went in, but the IV still wouldn't. They had to give me a numbing shot, which has a slight sting and made a bump on my arm, but after that I did't feel much of them trying to get the IV in, so that was nice. I never had that before.

The nurse decided to try my other arm.

Failed again.

What is wrong with my veins!

Because of the numbing shot I don't feel the needle go in, but once it gets stuck, I can feel it! The nurse had a rule that if she tries three times and can't get it then it's someone else's turn to try.

Ok. Great.

As we wait for another nurse, a lady from a neurology team came in to hook me up to a bunch of sticky wires. Four sticky things on each foot and wrist, one big one on my chest and she put a bunch of x's on my head. I assume during surgery there will be more. She wiped with an alcohol swab,  scrubbed each spot with 'sand paper' and then put the sticky thing on.

By this time, it's probably been about 45 min without much action and it seemed a bit weird. A nurse popped in once to do my IV, but was called out.  Next thing I know, two nicely dressed ladies come in and introduce themselves.

One of them I had talked with quite a bit over the phone. They tell us Dr. Kassam has been in emergency surgery all night and would like to move our surgery to- tomorrow morning.

OMG. My heart sank. My eyes teared up.

After a bit,  I said "okay, we understand."  Of course I wanted him to be rested when he operated on me. Its hard though because I was so prepared for the surgery. This person was obviously in worse shape then me, needing an emergency operation in the middle of the night!

So it's set for 8:30 the following morning. Now all I want to do is get unhooked from everything so I can get out of there and eat and put some makeup on!

It had been such a mind game. I was mentally ready for it and now a change of plans.

The rest of the day we sat around, napped, went to a movie, did a bit of shopping, and then had sushi for dinner. I was too congested to even taste and enjoy the sushi. My congestion was getting worse and I was nervous they would cancel surgery because of that.

Ugh.

Get me back to my aunts so I can do my shower routine. AGAIN.

IV and wires

I have 4 people that were very important to me that I believe are looking down on me and helping me through all of this.
    First would be my Auntie Liana. She passed away when she was in her late 20's from a very aggressive brain cancer called Glioblastoma. She was only 7 years older then me. I always thought she was so cool, I would be in middle school, she would be in high school, always in the next step that I couldn't wait to get to. I was living in Az when she passed away and it was really hard on me. It was a battle that lasted over a year and I saw her once during that time. My parents were in Milwaukee every weekend to be with her once she moved into hospice. I think of her often and wonder what she would be doing if she were still here on earth with us

My beautiful Aunt

The next person is my Grandpa Penegor. He passed away in 2011. He is the only grandparent of mine not living today and I am so grateful for that. He was funny and great! He had many awesome stories for us and so many songs and sayings that will still say today.  We all miss him so much.

Shay and I with my grandpa

I often think of a lady we called Grandma Jan. She was not my grandma but she took my Mother's great friend under her wing.  Grandma Jan started coming to Amanda and I at the salon. I did her hair and she did her nails. We loved having her there and we always had so much to chat about. She was super caring and thoughtful. She had heart problems that she did not tell us about and one morning, she did not wake up.

Sweet Grandma Jan

And lastly, I think of my Mom's cousin Mary. She lived in AZ, so we did not see her very often, but she was an awesome lady! So fun and full of spark! She was a hairdresser too and when she was home, I'd have her do my hair. When I moved to AZ, she helped me find a place to live and my Dad and I stayed a night with her when we first got there. She was in a freak car accident and passed away.

Here she is cutting my great aunties hair

The Beginning.

Hello!  Here I am writing a blog.  Never have I wrote one or expected to write one but I keep going over all these little details of my recent life and I don't want to forget them over time. I'm not a great writer so don't expect some ilaborate thing! I just figured its time to start writing down this experience.  Maybe it will help somebody else.  Its definitely one that most people haven't had and never will.  Thank God.  I hope you enjoy it! Or at least find it interesting! I will warn you that there may be some pictures that are too graphic for some!

It started with my ear. One day I began having a hard time hearing out of it. Eventually, I started getting earaches, and I had never had an earache before. I kept going to the walk-in clinic for antibiotics. I was assuming that I must be coming down with an allergy of some sort. I friend of mine used to have very similar side affects before finding out she had many food allergies. After dealing with this for almost a year I had started taking Motrin daily because my ear and head around my ear was constantly hurting. The antibiotics weren't even working anymore.

I did not have insurance for a few years. Renting my station at the hair salon makes me 'my own boss'. So insurance was not offered. I had been lucky to be healthy and never needed it thankfully. On New Year's Eve of that year though I was in so much pain that I decided to go online and find some insurance! I knew I needed to get a decent one because I figured I would probably need a lot of allergy testing and what not.

One day, a few months after having insurance,  I had noticed I had a weird feeling on my right cheek and my tongue. It was a bit tingly when I would touch my cheek or run my tongue on my teeth. So, that day a decided I better get an appointment, pronto! I had previously tried to get one 2 months prior, but the doctor I wanted to see was busy for more then a month out, so feeling frustrated, I said I'd call back.  This time, when I called, I said I would see anyone. They had an opening for me the next day.

At the appointment, once I told them I had the weird sensation, they scheduled me for a CT. This appointment was on Wednesday, May 7, and the CT was scheduled for that Friday.  My parents left Friday to Milwaukee for a trip to Puerto Vallarta. My mom was nervous about going since I had the CT and I told her "Don't be! It'll be just fine!"

My appointment was at 3:00 pm on Friday. It didn't last very long and I knew that I wouldn't get the results until Monday, since it was the end of the day and the weekend coming up.

I left after it, went home for a bit before needing to pick up the kids from the after school program.  I did some lawn work and then got into my car to leave. I saw I had a missed call from the hospital. I was shocked that I heard from them so quick! I thought they must have had some extra time on their hands! No scary thoughts ran through my head. I called back and they transferred me over to my doctor.

At this point, I'm just down the road from my work, stopped at a stoplight, and my doctor told me that they found a mass. They had me scheduled to go to Marquette on Monday for an MRI and meet with a neurosurgeon there.

I pulled into my work parking lot to process all this.

A mass.

I am in shock.

I just sit there, parked. Staring. A mass. Is this a dream? It can not be happening to me.

I hate the thought of calling my parents and give them this news. When I was 22 months old I had a benign brain tumor. I had a craniotomy then, stayed a few weeks in the hospital and everything was good. I went back for MRI's for the next 12 years. I know this was a big deal for them and my whole family. I was so young though that I do not remember it at all except a little of the MRI's I had growing up.

Finally I make the call and break it to my parents.  I can hear my mom panicking on the other end. I do not want them to cancel their trip! I can easily have a friend go with me on Monday. Nothing is going to happen in the meantime.

But they refuse and headed back home the next day.

I cant imagine what this is like for my parents. They went through all this once with me and now they have to do it again. But, I made it through the first time, so I'll do it again.

After telling to my parents, I went into the salon because I know my good friend Amanda is the only one left working. She had asked how it went and I said they found something. After her client left, I gave her more details and I finally broke down. I was so worried about my kids. What if they were left without a mom. Then, I had to pull myself together and go pick them up from school.

I was numb after that. The rest of the weekend I walked around in a daze. Not really knowing what was going on. My daughter Shaya was in a wedding. I spent saturday with a lot of people. Another good friend of mine, Joanne was there and she knew the news. I didn't want to tell anyone else yet.

On Monday, I had to be to the hospital early. Both parents came with me.

We go into the hospital and I get on a gown for the MRI. Before going in, I had to wash my eye makeup off because if there were any sparkles in it, it could mess with the MRI results. I also had to take every piece of metal off me. There was an earring of mine that I could not get out! My mom and I were panicking! And I felt stupid that we were holding up the MRI because of a dang earring! Finally I got it! Sigh of relief.

I had the MRI, it was loud! So many weird strange noises that didn't make any sense. I had to stay perfectly still for over an hour with cushions on the sides of my head and a strap on top of my head to help keep it still. Like I said earlier, I had many of these growing up, I couldn't remember the noise, but I could remember that I had to be perfectly still.

After that was done, we had time to go eat some breakfast before going back to the hospital to meet with the doctor and go over the results.

When we got back to the hospital I felt like we sat in the waiting room for so long before they finally called my name. Once we got into the room and went through everything with the nurse, the doctor came in. Doctor Rovin.

He was a quiet man. Very nice. He went through everything with us. He showed us the scan and you could see this big white "blob" on the right side of my head next to my ear.

It looked UGLY. It wasn't the size of a pea. It was huge. For never reading an MRI before, it was very easy to pick out the mass.

The doctor believed it may be an Acoustic Carcinoma.  Which is not a cancerous tumor. We breathed our first sigh of relief. I of course had done a lot of research over the weekend and this was one that I had read about and hoped that this was what it was.

The "beast"

He recommended us to a doctor, Dr. Kassam, in Milwaukee that specializes in the kind of tumor I had. My records were sent to him. Now, it was just wait for an appointment to be scheduled.

I Googled Dr. Kassam and just reading about him, he seemed amazing. I couldn't find a single bad thing about him. He was too good to be true! He was a reknown neurosurgeon who had just taken over the neuro unit at Saint Lukes in Milwaukee.

A few weeks later I finally got to see him. Those few weeks waiting for the appointment we were panicking. Of course we wanted to be seen NOW. But this is the beginning of us learning how to be patient when it comes to the medical field.  We wanted to be seen NOW! This is life or death for me. It was hard living life knowing that there is a tumor in my head that we know nothing about yet.  My Marquette doctor reassured us that waiting a month or so is okay for the next appt.

The day finally came. My mom was with me, we had stayed at my brothers apartment in Appleton the night before. He had just moved into this apartment and hadn't even stayed a night there yet!

When we get to the hospital, it was so much bigger then I'm used to. It was very nice and I liked the looks of it!  First I had another MRI. We had to follow a colored path on the floor and that took us to Diagnostics. Afterward, it was time to go to the doctor's clinic office. We had to walk across this long skywalk with a bunch of windows and go up a few floors. His office was very nice and so were his receptionists. We didn't have to wait too long in the waiting room. Once we were called back, we were introduced to a few different nurses. Some just sat in the room and took notes the whole time. Eventually Dr Kassam came in. He was a short man, very nice with a calm quiet voice. We then discussed our plan. The first thing was a brain surgery he was going to do through my nose to remove the tumor. It is called an Endonasal approach.  It sounded like a cool way to do it. It wasn't going to be like most brain surgeries where they cut into my skull. The hospital stay is just a couple days and the healing process is much better and quicker. We set the date for a couple weeks later! Dr Kassam also told us how much he liked Dr Rovin and that he had been begging him to come work with him.

The hospital. At the bottom, the glass windows are in the skywalk.

The endonasal approach - they go into the nose, remove the septum near the back of the nose and the bone in front of sphenoid sinus. By doing this they can reach the brain. The tumor is then removed with an endoscope. Once they are done, they reconstruct the skull base with septal membrane and that seals of the brain from the nose.

Before we left, Dr Kassam reassured my mom that everything was going to be ok. He grabbed her hand, looked her straight in the eye, and told her "this is nothing we can't handle".

My 30th birthday dinner

I dreaded turning 30. I never wanted to feel "too old" to do anything. My whole 29th year I complained about it. I now feel like this was God's way of teaching me a lesson to love getting older and not worry about my age. My Mom has always said getting old is much better then the alternative! And I now agree..