Surgery #3 October 29

After surgery and no skull bone. 
Hard to tell its gone in this photo 
because I still had so much swelling.

Back into surgery I go.

It's later in the day that I have this one. I'm trying to be patient, but I just want to get knocked out and feel better.

This surgery was very different then the other ones. You have previously read the shower routine I go through before entering the operating room.

This time, it's been 6 days since I've taken a shower.

One bonus, since having chemo, I still have no hair on my body! But, as I was getting onto the operating table (with the same nurses AGAIN!), I told them I was sorry and I am embarrassed that I haven't taken a shower in 6 days!

The one nurse said, "Oh honey, you have nothing to worry about! You have no idea what we see on this table!"

We laughed and into la-la land I went.

When I woke, I was back in my room and my head was wrapped in gauze. I was already feeling better and my swelling was down. My right side and eye were, of course, still swollen. My poor eye. Its probably so damaged by now. But at this point all I cared about was going to the bathroom (no catheter for this surgery) and I wanted food. I had to use a bed pan and its the weirdest thing ever. Trying to go to the bathroom while laying in a bed is almost impossible to do. It just doesn't feel right! They won't let me get out of bed yet though. I had to go so bad that I accomplished it. Haha.

My Mom and Bes ordered me all kinds of food from the restaurant down the road. It was eggs, hash browns, crepes, soup and fruit! Keep in mind, I'm still only eating soft things. And every bite is super slow and I need to make sure that I concentrate on making sure my teeth line up right. Eating is now a long, slow process for me.

I needed blood transfusions
after all of my surgeries.

The doctor came in and explained to me that he found an infection on my skull bone. The only thing they could do was remove my skull.

Yes, you read that right.

My skull bone was removed. The area removed was from above my ear, to the top of my head. And from my eyebrow over to the back of the side of my head. The doctor was worried that he was going to have to remove my eye.

(Holy shit!) I'm very lucky that he didn't have to.

After this surgery, like my last two surgeries, I  needed to have a couple units of blood transfused. I am now to be on an IV antibiotic for six weeks. (Six weeks? I sure hope I'll be able to do that from home.) In the beginning, I was on a few different ones until the infection was tested and they knew what to use to treat it.

Swollen but not as bad as before.
Look at that eye!
The swelling had taken
over my other eye, too.

I was going to be without a piece of my skull for six months. They were not going to do it anytime sooner because they wanted to make sure I would not get another infection from surgery. I was to wear a helmet in the mean time.

A helmet?

I did not like the idea of that AT ALL. What does this helmet look like?

I was going to be a hermit for the next six months and do nothing if that's what I'm wearing.  My mom would almost get mad when I would say I'm not going anywhere. Not even to a grocery. But, unless you're the one that's supposed to have this helmet on your head at all times, I don't think you'd understand. People stare. It looks like you have something wrong. And you stand out in a way that you absolutely do not want to.

This was the hardest, most emotional day in my life...

The closest I have been to death.

I have an infection in my brain.

I'm on antibiotics for so long.

And I have no skull bone.

I am exhausted and sad. What the hell is happening?